I’m in an unusually good mood today, so I thought I’d share an excerpt from the novel I’m writing—working title is Bare. I’m over 80k words into it. It’s an M/M Romance (Gay For You theme, with light BDSM elements) about an arts professor and painter named Adam, who asks a sophomore named Ev to model for him privately as he prepares for an upcoming show of his work. Ev is the sexually confused son of a conservative Republican Kansas Senator. Those are the basics. Below is a scene that takes place a few hours into Ev’s first time going to the studio in Adam’s apartment to model for him. This is entirely un-edited, so please forgive any errors. Happy Friday, everyone!
“Look, I’m sorry about what happened over there. I—”
“Don’t. Don’t apologize for that. Seriously.” Adam flipped the patties, set the spatula down and looked straight at Ev. “The whole reason I’m doing these pieces is because of how difficult it is to be vulnerable as a man, especially when it comes to sexuality. There’s a whole lot of trust involved and it fucks with your head, for everyone. I’d never expect a teenage guy to be thrown into this situation and not be overwhelmed or uncomfortable. That’s why it’s important we be honest with each other. Okay?” Ev nodded. “If you figure out, like, hey, this is too much for me, or you realize a boundary line has been reached or crossed, tell me. Please.”
“I like that this is so important to you,” Ev confessed. “Makes me want to do it more.”
“It is important. It affects everyone, because the struggle to be ourselves as men defines so much in our culture, subtly if not outright. It influences politicians on every scale. Police, doctors, lawyers, construction workers, women, children, dogs. You name it. But why are so many men afraid to be their true selves? What are we trying to prove?” With barely any pause, he added, “Can I ask you a question? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. What did you mean when you said you weren’t a sexual person?”
“Oh fuck,” Ev groaned, trying to laugh it off. “Feel free to not listen to every single thing I say.”
“No, I’m curious,” Adam persisted.
“Jesus. Well, um…”
“Are you a virgin?”
“No,” Ev said somewhat defensively. “I, you know, had a girlfriend. She was my best friend through grade school. Mia. We dated a while.”
“Okay,” Adam said thoughtfully, holding his chin in a hand, the other crossed over his chest. He looked like he was studying Ev, which made him self-conscious again. “A girlfriend. Just the one?”
“Not everyone needs to go beat off to Playboys constantly.”
“Have you at all?”
“Have I beaten off to Playboys?”
“No,” Ev argued. “It’s not interesting. It’s not. It’s normal. Don’t look at me like that.”
“All right. Sorry. Have you gotten hard looking at Playboys?”
“No. It’s fake and gross.”
“Wow. Strong words,” Adam said with a curious smirk.
“Can we stop talking about my boners, please?”
“Well, I’m kind of doing a painting about one,” Adam said, like a smartass, thumbing back over his shoulder. “So it seems like a valid conversation topic to me.” He flipped the patties again, then turned the burner off and slid the skillet off of it. Then he planted his hands on his hips and widened his stance. He looked ready to defend himself or his ideas, in whatever way necessary.
“God, you really drive me crazy,” Ev complained, rubbing a hand over his face.
Adam laughed. “I drive you crazy. Why?”
“Because you’re aggravating.”
“Okay,” Adam said with a nod and quirk of his lips. “It’s better than fake and gross.”
Ev froze. He stared at a spot on the counter, blinking too much, his jaw clenched, his hands curling into fists.
Quietly, Adam said, “I’m just going to say it, okay? Because that’s how I work. I don’t let these things go unacknowledged, not when it matters. But I don’t want to freak you out or push you away. I just want honesty here.” He paused, then called Ev’s name. “Evelyn.”
“It’s Ev,” he said fiercely.
“Do I aggravate you because I made your dick hard? Evelyn is a beautiful name. It’s classy. Don’t be embarrassed by it.”
“Fuck! Can you not do that, please?”
“You do this thing where you ask multiple questions or merge comments on separate topics in one thought. It feels like you’re trying to trick me into talking about shit. Like you knew I wasn’t going to acknowledge that shit and so you added the thing about my name just to jab me.”
“So it’s true then?”
“Stop,” Ev said loudly, his deep voice booming.
“Stop what? Stop making you think about who you are and what you want? What you like? Why? Does it scare you that much?”
He got up off the stool, hurrying to his clothes and escape. He was halfway there when his arm was grabbed, just like in his memory of James, only he was pulled to a halt then turned around. Adam was too close, his breath, his heat, his blue eyes and soft lips right in Ev’s space. Staring at Adam’s lips, Ev shook off his hold.
Adam touched the side of Ev’s jaw, the fingers curling around it. Ev tried to twist his face away, grabbed hold of the front of Adam’s shirt meaning to do… what? Push him away? Punch him in the face? Pull him closer? He forgot once he had a handful of the silky softness of the fabric, his knuckles brushing the firm chest hidden beneath. Adam was strong, maybe stronger than Ev. It was a dumb move to pick a fight with a guy who could probably kick your ass.
The moment breathed, lengthening until it was out of control.
Finally, Ev tossed his head, throwing off Adam’s hand, which reached for Ev’s left hip instead. It wrapped bare skin, the robe still untied, hanging open. Adam’s hand traced the hipbone, his thumb sliding just inside the ridge. Ev’s breath caught. Watching Adam’s mouth like it was the most dangerous thing in the room, Ev frowned, fell silent.
“There’s the line. You feel it? It’s right there.” His thumb caressed in a longer stroke, stirring Ev’s cock, fast.
Adam’s lips got closer and Ev couldn’t move. He grunted as Adam kissed him, his fist tightening in the shirt, pushing at Adam’s chest as his mouth chased the kiss, his head angling to the side as Adam’s tongue teased Ev’s lip, just a little.
The kiss ended, their foreheads touching. Ev was panting.
“Now it’s gone,” Adam said with a heated grin. “It’s that easy. What are you so scared of?”
“Everything. Why are you doing this?”
“Because it’s important. I’m taking this off.” He grabbed the robe instead of Ev’s hip. With a firm yank, he pulled it off. Then he grabbed Ev’s hip again, moving him backward with determination. “Lay down.”
If you like what you read, let me know! Maybe it’ll motivate me to finish the damned thing faster 😉